The Waffle House Index
Well, there’s another hurricane coming to Florida. Not surprising at all in August of what will most likely be the hottest year in history. It will be passing just north of the Tampa area. I am not too worried about it where I live. If I were on the coast I would definitely have evacuated due to the storm surge, but I refuse to live that close to the water for this exact reason.
Another not-so-insignificant reason I am not too concerned is that the Waffle House closest to me will be open tomorrow. I am not even kidding. That is an actual means of tracking how dangerous a storm is/was around here. It’s called the Waffle House Index.
The Waffle House Index is basically a gauge of how bad a storm was to an area. It has three levels:
- Green: Full menu – The restaurant has power and damage is minimal or absent.
- Yellow: Limited menu – Power is either absent or delivered by a generator, or food supplies are running low.
- Red: The restaurant is closed – Indicates severe damage or severe flooding; Severe destruction to the restaurant.
If you reach an area immediately after a huge storm and Waffle House is open with a full menu, then the area mostly did okay. And if this sounds ridiculous, please note that FEMA uses it.
For a local, our best indicator is when we learn that Waffle House will be closed prior to a hurricane arriving. Why? Because Waffle House does NOT close. End of story. So, if they are actually closing a location, some real shit is headed your way.
To put this in perspective, last year Waffle House closed 35 locations in preparation for Hurricane Ian. People who weren’t taking what ended up being a near Category 5 hurricane seriously before hearing that, definitely took it seriously once they heard that. They also closed a few locations for Hurricane Irma as well.
So, I am not too worried about my area specifically. We’re not near the coast and Waffle House is open so it should be fine. 😊
Feature Photo by Skyler Gerald on Unsplash